Moose

In a conversation that came up during a 3 pm Sunday breakfast at Arby's this weekend, a few friends and I had a conversation about moose. We got to talking about people being very moose like, whether it be through size, strength, or performance. I wanted to give a breakdown of the top five moose in sports.

5. Andrew Luck. A moose in training, Luck is 6'5'' and 240 lbs. While being new to the moose clan, this moose is sure to deceive you with his mooseyness. Vontaze Burfict, a large fellow in his own right, got a concussion while trying to take down this amateur moose. Definitely a moose to watch out for in the coming years.

4. Zdeno Chara. Unbelievably moosey in both appearance and size. Plays much like you would assume a moose might play also. Don't fool yourself into thinking moose can't skate, because they are actually not bad skaters. Chara is an example of what happens when a moose grows up in Slovakia.

3. Shaq. Ridiculously moosey, would bang around and just do moose stuff in the paint. Over 7 feet tall and 300 pounds, this moose belongs in the soon to be established moose hall of fame. A legendary moose. Talks like one might assume a moose talks like too.

2. Peyton Manning. Very much a moose. Has a moose forehead and moose like tendencies, such as the ability to throw a football very far. One of the smartest moose to ever moose around, a surefire moose hall of famer.

1. Wilt Chamberlain. All time greatest moose. So moose like he is able to put up 100 points and average 37 points in a year. Probably the moosiest human being to ever live, other than maybe Odysseus.